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Confused and Bored...

So this year has not been so great.. I started seeing this guy in May who screwed me over big time. Owes me money I will never see and emotionally messed me up. He played so many games and made me feel like I was always doing something wrong. He cheated on me twice..... Told everyone that we were never together and that I was a compulsive liar.... first off hell no... Not me at all. He lied about everything... made shit up left and right and I hate him with a passion. Then I tried to give Justin another chance and he blew it... I just want someone that is going to act like an adult and take care of me and be there for me... Someone I can watch movies with and listen to country music with and all that good stuff. I am with Jack right now.. and I was really happy with him in the beginning , right now with everything going on... money issues... family problems... My own problems. right now I kinda feel depressed like there is something wring with me. I feel like everything Jack does annoys the crap outa me.. I don't know whats wrong.... feel kinda smothered yet alone and unloved at the same time.. I don't know what to do... I'm watching Nerve right now.. Pretty good movie.. so far anyway... I felt like I needed this... needed to talk.. let it out.... Brittany is pregnant. It was triplets at first but then she lost one :( and then Lexi lost Sophia.... well that was first then Britt. but now Lexi is pregnant again.. Dan is married and he is having a baby also... So many babies...

Wow a lot of time has passed...

  Well first off Happy New Year. Thanksgiving and Christmas was great. I was off Thanksgiving Day. Haven't had off a Thanksgiving since I started working after High School. So it was really nice. Christmas was great got to spend time with my family and Spencer, I love that lil girl so much. I miss her everyday. Tonight I am relaxing, been catching up on my shows. I am watching Legends of Tomorrow, The 100 and Shades of Blue. I'm laying here cuddling with my kitty and I'm Hungry. Me and Dan are still talking and staying friends. I got my nails done yesterday which I have not done in years.  I started seeing someone on February 1st. We went to High School together. We went Valentines Day together after me n the fam ate at the German Restuarant. Me and Justin went and saw Deadpool. It was awesome. I can't stop thinking about him and he is like the sweetest guy ever lol. Can't wait to see him Saturday. Well I guess thats it for now. My birthday is next month. Can't believe I'm going to be 27. I am gettin old... ;( kinda sux. I used to look forward to not having shows to watch on Friday nights but now they switched The Vampire Diaries and The Originals to friday nights. ok well I guess thats it for now.
A lot has happened lately... first off Magic Mike is freaking kick ass and I love Channing Tatum... he is so hott :) Secondly Dan asked me back out 6-28-12. third My dad's 50th birthday is tomorrow. My mom and I went to get him his gift today. Finally Lizz has a lot of nerve to say I don't pay for anything when we go to places... first of all I have offered and I paid for food a lot when I was dating asshole Jason at the time. Jason and I always stocked her fucking fridge when she didn't have a job and kept saying she's broke and then we talked to her dad and they said they were paying for everything for her... so that's a bunch of shit right there... plus I always drive to Odessa to her house n then we leave from there to go to where ever she wants... She always asks me to go shopping with her and always wants my opinion on clothes... She never in like 2 maybe 3 years has ever picked me up from my house... I always drive to her house which is 30 mins away and wasting my gas... and then she spends like 300 dollars on hollister clothes... mainly short shorts which are kind of whorish and she doesn't dress like she should at all... she wears such tight hoochie mamma crap and thinks she is so damn hott and all that... and im tired of it... and she wonders why all guys want from her is ASS! hmmm....  plus she's still on POF and ya meeting men there is real classy.... She is never gona meet a nice guy who is worthy of her on there... maybe when she starts dressing appropriately then maybe guys won't want just a piece of ass. I get that her dad isn't well and that she is helping them out but she needs to realize she isn't the center of everything and she needs to realize that everyone is going through something... everyone is fighting their own battle and she can get the hell over it... I've put up with a lot of her crap... and now I feel better letting it all out.

H3@rt$

Jason's 30th Birthday

  Ok so I don't know if I told you all that I am now working center store and stocking but I have been doing that for I think a month now and I love it. Time goes by so much quicker working back there and not a lot of people bug me which is nice. Friday March 30th we went Kevan & Jason's house and when we got there we were hungry so we stopped at BWW. (Buffalo Wild Wings) ya the first and last time I'm ever going there. It was crappy... not even meat on those wings and the people were kind of rude. Then we went to Kevan's and got ready for the Party. We had it at the Patio Grill and it was pretty awesome and I got to see Josh lol who asked me to dance with him at the wedding but I didn't I was too nervous and my feet were killing me because of those shoes. We didn't talk though. I think we were both nervous lol. oh well. So my sister made a 30th Birthday montaje of him throughout the years since he was born and It was really sweet and some people kind of cried of they saw the video Jason made of proposing to Kevan, but it was really cool other that that and 11 mins long haha. I had 2 strawberry daqs so I was loving it. The next morning we got up around 9 and got ready and had to put our swim suits on and no one would tell Brandon and I what we were doing I guess it was a surprise for us. We eventually arrived at our destination and we were at Wekiva Island and going Canoeing on Wekiva Springs. It was really fun and I think the water was like 72 and it felt really good. For me anyways lol. I enjoyed it and I took lots of pictures as usual. We all want to do it again soon. I think next time we are going to take the Josephik's or something or go somewhere else where they do that. Not sure yet.  After the canoeing we went out and ate at a Chinese Buffet which was also good. I had some kind of crab salad. That was yummy. When we were leaving it started to sprinkle and by the time we got back to Kevan's it was pouring rain and thundering and what not. It didn't last long though, but we all took a short nap and then drove home. I can't wait to take our boat out though. My dad is taking my brother and his friends out on it tomorrow and go tubing since they are on Spring Break. I have to work :( I guess Kristin is postponing her wedding now since she lost her baby which was the whole point of her getting married early. I feel so bad.. I know way too many people who has miscarried. It really sucks. I hope that doesn't happen to me. I'm finally getting my hair done after like a year it seems like. I need it. Also I think we are gona plan a trip or 2 pretty soon. Karen has never been to Animal Kingdom so we gotta take her there and we also have to use my dad's points or something and we might plan a trip to go to Anna Maria Island. I love that place. It's so beautiful and the water is so blue and clear... Well I guess that's about it for now. If I think of anything else I will write about it Until then. Be safe everyone.

Happy Birthday to ME

March 9, 10, and 11 We went to Disney, we met up with Danielle and her 3 yr old son Justin and picked them up at our hotel parking lot.Then drove to Epcot and met up with Karen and Sarah and ate lunch at the Rose & Crown Restaurant and we saw Steve Harvey and his buddies leaving the restaurant and my mom about flipped out lol. We all went to celebrate mine and Sarah's birthday's. It was fun and we got rained on. That night we ate at Ruby Tuesday's and Sarah and I ordered an alcoholic drink. The next morning we drove over to Karen and Sarah's hotel to eat breakfast for free haha :) Then we went to Magic Kingdom and had a blast. Danielle and Justin went to the horse track so they didn't come. There were a lot of clouds and thought a couple times that it might rain but it never did til later that night when we went back to our hotel room. Then the next morning we walked over to the hotel next door and ate a free breakfast and then drove home...So I turned 23 on the 13th of March. It was pretty awesome... I woke up around noon and my dad was baking the cake. I ate and took a shower and relaxed for a bit then we had to get ready to go to dinner with Karla & Rob at The German Restaurant. We had fun and we celebrated mine and Rob's birthday cause we have our birthday the same day which is really cool. They gave me a birthday card with money inside :) yay money lol... Dan was so sweet and said happy birthday twice to me. I love him so much... I wish he was here to spend it with me. Karen and Sarah got me nail polish, new pair of sunglasses, a starbucks gift card and really cute earings. I got 2 new shirts, money, chocolate pretzels and a kick ass new tv and a lil Hibiscus notepad. I've been working on my tan a lot last summer and even in the winter... basically whenever I wasn't working and it was hott out I would lay out. Which was a lot. I am really tan now and I love it... I'm still doing it and I won't be stopping lol. I'm on my vacation right now... I go back the 19th to work. I am now working in Center store stocking and what not. I need to get more hours though... Kristin and Malachi are getting married the 21 of April and she asked me to be a Bridesmaid. I said yes of course and I plan on going to Daytona some how some way... I am so excited and I think we all decided on a dress so we will see. I am so happy for them, also because they are having a baby :) I guess Kyle and Kori are separating for now, which sucks and Kyle is so upset and doesn't want her to go, but there's not much he can do. He has to let her go, give her some space and take time to miss him and hopefully she will be back. If it's meant to be she will be back.. I guess Mary and Hunter are getting married on the 4th of July and Kyle and Kori are thinking about coming to Florida to live but not together so we will see on that also.. Lexi is going back to Cali and living with her grandma and her bf is moving there too with his family. Brittany and John are married and I guess he isn't going into the marines now. So I don't know what's gong on with that. I wish Dan was here. :( He makes me so happy and makes me feel good about myself... His friend Rob has the same Birthday as me also. He just turned 21. March 30 and 31 we will be in O-town and having a surprise party for my brother in law Jason... he is turning 30 and my sister has a gift for me... My brother is going to UCF in the summer and going to be living with Kevan and Jason to save money, he just got a new car.. So I guess he is all set just about... So I think that's about it for now... Now that I just wrote a book lol I will be back another time. Oh and I'm also making a scrapbook again for this new year. :) ttfn.

Feeling Artistic

So the last couple days I have either been writing stories/poems or painting. Not sure what has gotten into me lately but I like it, but anyways. Valentines day at 12 am Dan asked me out and I said yes of course. So now we are dating. I can't believe he is all mine. I feel so happy :) Hunter messaged me a couple days before and said he loves Mary, always have and always will and I get that... but don't say apart of you will always love me. That just hurts too damn much and at the time when he messaged me I was on yahoo with Dan and I was on webcam and Dan watched me cry. I was kinda mean to Hunter since he hurt me and I told him I was sorry if I was being mean and I said I wasn't ready to talk to him yet. He messaged back a day later and said he would always be there when I want to talk, but honestly I don't know if I will ever be ready to talk to him... My brother got accepted to UNF and UCF but I think it will be UCF. They are way better anyway. I am starting Stocking and Frozen Food next week. I will be so happy that I don't really have to deal with pain in the ass customers. So happy about that. So that's about all that has happened I guess. I wish it was spring break already so I can see Dan lol. Hopefully if they still come. I can't wait. If they don't come for spring break I'll definitely see him when he graduates in April. Maybe we will get an apartment together somewhere or something. I have no idea, but I'm really excited. :)

Catching up...

Well from the last time I wrote... a lot of shit happened and well I guess you can say more shit happened, but long story short kinda... This fake boobed girl is a big whore... Mary and I are friends again and I understand her situation a lot more because someone filled me in and I get it now and it makes sense... She's spending a lot more time with her daughter and I'm so happy for her and she has a new boyfriend who seems to be really sweet and caring and hott lol. Hunter doesn't seem like he knows what he is doing and he is kinda being a big jerk. He is messing around with that faked boob bitch I guess so we know that's not good. John and Britt were engaged and then the day after Britt was making plans for 2013 she broke it off. They spent time apart and John was really upset and when Britt moved here I guess it really kicked in and she started to miss him and he came and surprised her yesterday (the 28th) and they spontaneously got married and I couldn't be more happy for them :) I guess Kori and Kyle were having issues and needed to spice things up... So apparently they did and they are back to normal lol.. I've been talking to Kyle's cousin Dan and we have been pretty good so far and I really really like him he is 2 years younger than me maybe a little less than that, I am ready to settle down I know that's what I want but I like him so I'll just kind of keep that to myself. This fake boobed bitch keeps freaking starting shit apparently that's what I hear from Mary and Dan anyway. I guess she like Dan but he don't want anything to do with her... thank god... She sent people including me a half nude pic of her fake boobs... not attractive by the way.... freaking disgusting.... and I never said or did anything to this chick. She has problems... So that's about it on that end... My brother in law and his girlfriend had their baby yesterday also. So it was a pretty exciting day from the pictures I saw, that baby looks so cute and so is Mary's daughter. She is so adorable. Tonight at 11 My mom and I starting watching a movie, Midnight In Paris. It was really good, but kind of weird too. Makes me want to go to Paris really really bad now. I've always wanted to go but seeing that movie makes me want to more. I guess that's all for tonight. TTFN.

What A Shitty Fucking Night

So Kyle messaged me and told me everything that happened today... yesterday they got lost tryin to come see me and then the car broke down so they stayed the night at a hotel and then today they went to get the car back from the shop and the assholes there stole their stuff in the car and some car parts. Wow what assholes... then they rented a car and assholes on the road slammed on their brakes and they hit them... and the asshole driver shot Hunter in the leg and foot. I can't help thinking it's my fault. I feel like shit and I wish this never happened. I should have went to see them :( I feel so fucking bad... I've been crying a lot. Their all sleeping now. Kyle said he would call me in the morning. He said it wasn't my fault. He said Hunter loves me. Just makes me feel even more like crap even though he is right. I love them both and I'm glad Hunter is going to be ok. I don't know if I can sleep tonight.. I put in The Big Bang Theory to keep my mind off things... All I can do is picture Hunter passed out in bed. :( I wish he was here and this never happened. All I wanted to do was make them feel better and have fun and give him his gift and take his mind of his Grandpa. I never thought this would happen. :( I don't know how to feel or what to do. I want to drive over there and see him so bad and just cuddle with him :(

New Years!!!

New Year and new goals, hopes, wishes, and dreams. So on the 29th or 30th Hunter found out that his Grandpa had a heart attack and he came home for that and when he got here he passed away on the 1st. The Funeral was yesterday and I feel really bad for him... Hunter and Kyle decided to take a road trip to come see me. Last night they got lost at one point and then the car stalled and wouldn't start up again so they had to get a tow. Kyle told me last night that they were at a hotel and would be here Thursday and Friday.  So I texted Kyle this morning but no text back yet. So kind of worried, but I'm sure everything is fine. I miss Hunter so much. I'm so glad I get to see him soon. So it looks like for me this is going to be a better year. I hope I can take Hunter's and Kyle's mind off of all the sadness. I hope Hunter asks me out :) I'm sure he will. I can't wait to see him and give him his gifts, but for now. I'm going to watch The Big Bang Theory and relax and take a hot shower. It is freezing outside. On Bay News 9 it says NPR is 48 degrees. So ya pretty freaking cold. Ok well I'll be back another day... Happy New Year Everyone.